Therapist Reflections
This space shares insights from our counselling team to support families and individuals on their journey toward healing and growth.
Why does my ASD child get overwhelmed?
Highways VS Backroads - I'm lucky to live in a town where there are both. On days when I have plenty of time and feel like an adventure I can choose the scenic route. There's lots of wildlife to look at and interesting things to see. On the days when I'm in a rush however I tend to take the highway as its the quickest way from A to B. A lot less scenery but it has a faster speed limit and gets me there quickly.
Now imagine one day that the highway was closed and I was running late. If I was to take the backroads I might have a tendency to speed and lose control on the dirt road or I may end up hitting the wildlife I love.
Researchers have discovered recently that ASD brains have more 'backroads' and less 'highways' than neurotypical brains. They are often excellent at noticing small details and coming up with ideas that are 'off the beaten track'.
The payoff to this richness of experience is is that ASD brains find it difficult to adjust quickly to situations that are out of routine or are over stimulating (like new places, lots of noise, too many people, even a different breakfast cereal..). Instead of moving quickly to adapt (taking the highway) ASD brains race to adjust by speeding on the backroads and can end up crashing. This can look like shutting down to extreme emotional outbursts over what we might consider small things.
So how do we help ASD brains to adjust without being overwhelmed or crashing out as often?
Sometimes the answer is planning. When you know a transition is going to happen; like having to finish playing at the park, give plenty of warning ('it will be time to finish and start heading home in 10 minutes', and again in 5 minutes etc..). Using a visual countdown timer like in an ipad can help.
When you know something is coming up that will be out of routine, take time to talk about it the day before (eg: 'its a student free day tomorrow. What should we plan to do instead of school?').
Another tip is to give a choice ....no matter how small. Eg: 'what would you like to do first, put your bag on the hook or put your shoes in the cupboard?"
Sensory tools such as headphones to reduce sound volume, glasses to help with bright lights and fidget tools for transitions can help.
Every child and situation is different, so if you'd like more tailored tips for helping your child to reduce meltdowns please feel free to contact us.
It helps to remember however, in those time when our ASD kids are overwhelmed, its not because they want to be difficult, but its because their brains are having difficulty adjusting to their environment as quickly as neurotypical kids their age.
by
Darryl Peters (MACA)
Reference article
https://www.cuimc.columbia.edu/news/children-autism-have-extra-synapses-brain
Tuning into your kid's secret lanuage
How do we understand young people better? You might think it's all about keeping up with with the latest catchphrases or even eves dropping on their conversations with friends. I would argue that the clues to our kid's communication are more obvious than that. In fact they're right in front of us every day. It's their behaviour.
Behaviour is communication. Whether it be a slammed door or a verbal explosion caused by an innocent comment. It's easy to jump in and react to challenging behaviours, rather than taking the time to ask "at this moment, what might be causing my kid to react this way?"
Don't get me wrong, it can be tough to take a step back when tempers are high. If we do, by taking a few deep breaths (or whatever else helps us think a bit clearer), we can tune into what our children are really trying to tell us.
Young peoples' brains don't develop fully until their mid 20's, and often its the emotional regulation and verbal zones that are last to fully come on line. In times of stress, they are less able to put their worries and emotions into words.
A slammed door can actually mean 'I'm sad about a friend rejecting me today', and a verbal explosion can really mean 'I'm worried that I'm going to fail my exam tomorrow'.
If we only react to the behaviour, - the slamming door or the 'talking back' ; we can miss an opportunity to understand what our kids are desperately trying to communicate.
What if we tried instead to take a moment and look for clues for what is behind their behaviour. Then we can start to tap into what they are really trying to say.
If you'd like more tips in understanding and connecting with your young person, feel free to contact us.
by
Darryl Peters (MACA)
Anxiety Hacks
If you've ever managed to get bogged in the mud, it can be a frustrating experience. No matter how much you spin your wheels, you can't get anywhere.
Anxiety can be alot like that. Our nervous system becomes activated by a percieved threat (real or imagined) and gets our body ready for action.
often however these threats aren't of the physical kind that we can fight off or run away from, so we're physically stuck reviving our nervous systems 'engine' and going nowhere.
The sick feeling we get in our stomach, shaking or sweaty hands, increased heart rate and racing thoughts can all be a sign that we're stuck spinning our wheels.
One of the ways we can get out of this loop is to hit the reset button on our nervous system. Researchers have found a way to do this through our Vagus nerve.
Travelling from our face, through our vocal cords, to our heart, lungs and digestive system this nerve carries signals in both directions. By hacking this pathway we can get out of our anxiety loop.
Coldwater Plunge - submerge your face in cold water for 30-60 seconds or place an icepack in the centre of your chest for 10-15 minutes.
Gargle - gargle water for at least 30 seconds.
Long exhale - Breath in for 6-8 counts and then out for 8-10 counts. Do this for at least 3-5 minutes.
These tips can help reset your nervous system so that we can move out of fight/flight into rest/digest/connect mode and find the resources we need to solve the problems we're facing.
For more tips on how to hack your nervous system and improve your mental health, feel free to contact us.
by
Darryl Peters (MACA)